Senk jü for trawelling...

.. is the name of a book by two editors of the German newspaper Die Zeit, and is their attempt at putting the pronunctiation of Deutsche Bahn's english announcements onto paper. Unlike in the UK, in Germany, when pulling into a station (certainly on long-distance trains) you get a list of connections. Then they thank you for travelling with Deutsche Bahn and wish you a plesant onward journey. Unless your guard... sorry.. Train leader... has a good knowledge of English, all you get it "Senk jü for trawelling wiz Deutsche Bahn. Goodbye."
The book tells the stories in a very satirical, very German way how to survive travelling by train in Germany. Whilst some parts are, to say the least, a little over the top, there are also some bits that tell the whole, unbridled truth.
And let's not forget the terrible announcements inside of stations. Just because German trains run from a Gleis (the track), does not mean UK trains do. There is not a single station in the U.K. which would tell you your train is running from Track 5. We use Platform!
Then there is the obsession with translating Hauptbahnhof. The idea of a main station doesn't exist. We give it a name. You don't turn Kassel-Wilhemshöhe into Kassel-Williams-high, you don't turn Hamburg-Dammtor into Hamburg Dam-gate, so why do you turn every station with the word Hauptbahnhof into "Main Station" in English?!?!?!

And then we come to actually getting on the train, but that's a different matter entirely (although slightly easier than suggested by Herr Spörle and co).